Mardie: Narrator – Tells points of interest, history and philosophy – could sound like a documentary commentator. Plays a number of roles.
Doctor Fraud (The Doctor): Psychiatrist - self-important, hypocritical, drinks alcohol, he is trapped by his problems of taking on patient’s problems, conservative, envious of his patient’s delusions because of the freedom they have, also a singer. He maybe ambiguous at times with language.
Argyle: Young man. His mother is the baker. He is traumatized at a birthday when young and he has an aversion to custard pies. He has ongoing issues with his mother about being smothered by her.
Millie aka the Crummy Baker: Argyle’s mother runs the bakery and run down by it, she tries to control Argyle’s life, wanting him to run the business because she wants to get away. Disappointed and discontented with life. Wishes she had more adventures in her life. A cynical wise-cracker says things like – “She’s got more chops than a butcher.” “Maybe we could do some ‘roll’ (bread) playing” Puns.
Emmy Claire: Young woman who works in the bakery with Argyle and his mother. She is independent and unsure if she feels about Argyle in the same way that he feels about her.
Illya: The Russian. Works on the docks. Has tattoos and rough attitude. He tries to take life less seriously. Formerly a spy in Russia. He is trying to cope with life in this little town. He has commitment issues with women.
Bacchus: The bartender who is part-time philosopher and part-time poet. Well spoken. He is obsessive about things having to be perfect. He used to be a prince of the desert or so he likes to believe.